Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Nonnatechnology - the new fear amongst trackies

Beware. There lurks out there a devious, performance enhancing thing, known as nonnatechnology. Our fearless, IOC aspiring, UCI President, Mr McQuaid has warned us. Now it is up to us, as brave, courageous, compliant trackies to take heed and beware.

For your edification, so you know what to look for; some examples of extreme nonnatechnology:

Nonnatechnology in use in multifunctional race car technology





Nonnatech is very new and incredibly experimental. For this reason it can be volatile. (see wooden framed bike on a tanning bed). Hence McQuaid's justified concerns about The Big Three of Track accessing this dangerous technology.  Tell tale signs of using nonnatechnology illegally are readily identifiable, particularly nonnabiotech, which is the most experimental form of nonnatech currently available to national sports institutes.


http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nanobiotechnology  




These two nonnabioteched trackies were once known as Chris Hoy and Theo Boss. You have been warned.
 

These experiments are often hidden under 5Bling gloves, nonnatech skinsuits (see youtube clip above for extreme nonna skins), ubiquitous Casco helmets and Bont shoes, and of course, the BT Stealth, which hides all signs of illegalities with it's stealthy stealthness. 

You have been warned.

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